Losing you

Writing 101 – Day 15, Your Voice Will Find You

We were so happy. We fought so hard to get a wonderful life.

I was waiting for you to come home, but you never did.

They arrived at our house and told me that there had been an accident. I could barely think, I took the kids with me and went to see you.

When I arrived a nurse took the kids. A doctor approached me. He made me sit down, looked into my eyes, then told me that your brain had died, that nothing could be done to save your life.

I understood I had lost you. My mind went black. However, I knew exactly what I had to do: take you off life support.

The doctor guided me to your room. We entered, then he left us alone.

You were lying on the bed, as if asleep, but you were not, actually you were not there, only your body remained.

I sat down next to you. I closed my eyes and heard your voice telling me: “you are the love of my life. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you”.

I cried.

I opened my eyes and looked at you. What would I tell the kids? How would I explain this situation to them? How would I pick up the pieces? How would I put them together and make them work?

Life is so cruel. What did I do to deserve this? We were supposed to grow old together, but you are not here anymore, you are not going to come back.

I want to be brave, for our kids, for me, for you. I will do my best, I promise you. Everything is ok, there is nothing you need to worry about, we are going to be fine.

It breaks my heart, but… I am ready to let you go.

Goodbye my love.

*****

Background song: Chasing Cars by Sleeping at Last

Inspired on Grey’s Anatomy episode: How to Save a Life

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A letter for Mr. Time

Writing 101 – Day 14, To Whom It May Concern

Dear Mr. Time,

Everything has changed. The Universe is bigger than we initially thought. Our Earth is getting warmer. Internet has made our lives easier and funnier.

The clock is moving, and we are constantly changing. Some of us have things that only existed in our parents’ dreams.

I have grown up. I am a contemporary adult with a good job and many responsibilities. However, I would like to do more with my life. I would like to travel around the world, taste new flavours, comtemplate other colours, change a life, fall in love with an amazing man… Oh Mr. Time, I have a wishlist! There are so many things I still want to do. But forgive me, we are not here to talk about the future, it is not the place nor the time for that. We are here so I can tell you that it does not matter, you can destroy everything within the next second.

I have felt joy and pain, I have experienced happiness and sadness. I have had a great life. So, no regrets Mr. Time, you do not have to apologise. You will bring different kinds of things to my life and I will take them all.

That is all I had to say. We shall not talk again. Take care Mr. Time.

Sincerely,

Marian

Finding myself

Writing 101 – Day 13, Serially Found

I used to think that my life had reached the ending point, that there was nothing left for me. Fortunately I was wrong.

I met her on a winter day, and I could not possibly imagine that I was going to discover there are many reasons to live for.

She was a violinist. I used to be a pianist. She forced me to play with her. I was afraid I could not make, but I did it. We did it. We played a duo, and I was a pianist again.

She reminded me the beauty in the world. She made me a better person, brought light and colour to my life.

She changed me. She made me brave. She taught me how to smile again. She helped me to find myself.

*****

Background song: Blue Rose by BrunuhVille

Cursed soul

Writing 101 – Day 12, Dark Clouds on the (Virtual) Horizon

Darling, you are the only one in my mind, my love for you grows everyday. You are always going to be my daughter, and I am always going to be your mother… and that is always going to be our absolute truth.

I have changed. I am different. I am not the same woman I used to be. If you could see me now, perhaps you would not recognise me. I have been living so freely, no ties, no regrets. However, nothing lasts forever.

I start to feel the passage of time. Lately I have been feeling lonely. I think that aging is a miracle. I am a young woman with a cursed soul.

I think I am falling apart. I have been running for so long, and now I do not know how to stop.

Our life

Writing 101 – Day 8, Death to Adverbs

A night I dreamed a life with you. We had a winter wedding, a magical moment. We lived in a country house. We planted trees and flowers. We had two kids, a boy and a girl. Our life was simple and calm…

Our life was perfect.

*****

Background song: Peponi (Paradise) by The Piano Guys ft. Alex Boye

More than love

Writing 101 – Day 7, Give and Take

He felt her approaching.

He never expected to see her that day, it had been years since the last time they saw each other.

He was nervous, impatient. He almost felt like he was a child again.

The door opened, he saw a shadow entering the room. He stopped thinking, he held his breath.

She crossed the door and then he saw her.

She came close to him, he did not move. She stood right in front of him, and all he could do was stared at her.

―What are you doing here? ―She asked.

He did not answer, he kept staring at her.

―I do not like to repeat myself ―she said.

He wrapped his arms around her.

―What do you want from me? ―He did not reply, he continued holding her in his arms. He feared it was just a dream, that if he let her go she would disappear.

―I love you ―he said.

―I know that, I love you too and you know it ―she kept quiet for a moment―. You have not answered my question, tell me what are you doing here?

She got rid of his hug, and took two steps back.

He got surprised, but he did not show it, his face remained calm.

―I have missed you, I realised I cannot live without you. I thought I could do it, but the truth is that life without you is not enough.

He offered his hand to her, but she did not take it.

―The truth is that love is not enough ―she looked him in the eyes―. We cannot be together, there is no us. Leave this place and never come back. It should not be difficult, after all you already did that once. Have you forgotten?

He looked back at her, he saw pain but no doubt in her eyes.

―I made a mistake, I was wrong ―he said.

She took a step forward.

―You chose to see only a part of me: my past, the lives I took, the sins that I commited.

She took another step.

―I changed. I got rid from my vengeance. I paid for my mistakes. I cleaned my heart, I cleaned my soul. However you did not care about that. Do you think I do not know that I do not deserve to be alive? Also I know that my dead will not compensate all the damage that I made once. So all I have been doing is to help people, I have been trying to make this world a better one.

A tear slid down her cheek.

―You only see the dark inside me. And the worst is that you think you are better than me, but beneath that flesh and bones you are just like me: an assassin.

He wiped her tears carefully.

―I know what you were, I know what I was―he softened his expression―, and I do not care about it. I do not want your past. I want your present, I want your future.

He took her face into his hands and looked straight into her eyes.

I know love is not enough. We need trust, patience, forgiveness, compromise, candour. We need so many things.

He hugged her one more time.

She could hear his breath on her ear.

A couple of seconds passed. She sighed and then wrapped her arms around him.

He held her tight. They enjoyed each other presence.

He separated slowly from her.

His left hand remained on her waist, his right hand caressed her cheek.

He leaned toward her. She started to close her eyes, then he did the same. And finally they had a tender kiss.

They opened their eyes at the same time. You could see a deep love between them.

He smiled at her, she did the same.

Then he asked:

―Would you marry me?